The truth is that we bring on many of our own problems because we are trying too hard to measure up to someone else’s standards. That is not what matters most.
That certainly has been my truth on more than one occasion. If you are fortunate you will realize early in life that most of what takes place doesn’t matter in the long run. It took me quite a while to catch on to that secret, but I did, and it changed my entire outlook on life.
Out From The Caves
There is a tendency to want people to like us. That is only natural. It goes back to our caveman days. It is part of our survival mechanism. We are creatures that band together and form civilizations. We rely on one another for those things necessary to survive.
When we start being overly concerned with how we measure up to the hopes, dreams and wishes of others we impose extra, unnecessary layers of performance on ourselves. Then, almost all the time we fail to live up to those standards.
Worry, Worry, Worry
We stress out about it. We worry about it. We suffer over it.
All of that is self-imposed.
The first thing that should be remembered is that most people do not spend much time thinking about others at all. In fact, we are all self-focused. Unless another human being is in our tight circle of friends and family, we hardly give them a thought. That works in both directions. As much as you might want to believe that others are talking about you, they probably aren’t even thinking about you.
That should be a liberating feeling.
One day I was listening to a young lawyer go on about how many cases he won. He was crowing like a rooster that had just strutted through the henhouse.
I went up to him and asked him, “Do you know who the richest, most powerful and best respected lawyer was in this county 100 years ago?”
He answered, “No.”
“Neither does anybody else,” I said.
You see what we think is so important now, really isn’t. Don’t get so full of yourself that you think you are really important and don’t get so down on yourself that you think you are really worthless.
Just Be The Best You
Quit comparing yourself to others. Stand up for yourself. That is what matters most. Recognize that you are the perfect you. Nobody else can be you. Nobody else can offer what you have to offer.
Until you come to terms with the fact that you are your own unique brand you will try to measure up to what you think others find acceptable.
Once you accept yourself as that unique creature with specific talents and abilities you will find that your stress drops off dramatically.
Life is a gift. Enjoy it.