Stop Comparing Yourself

It is hard to see yourself as others see you. Self-realization may be one of the biggest challenges we have. I know. I have been a public speaker almost all of my life. I have been a radio personality and trial lawyer. I still can’t accept that my voice is anything other than ordinary. Yet people frequently compliment me on my voice.

It is not only hard to see yourself as others see you, it is hard to hear yourself in that way, too.

We have a tendency to be our biggest critics. That is because we know our real flaws. Those are the things we know about ourselves that we hope others never discover. Okay, maybe we are too heavy or too thin. Maybe we have a scar on our face or some other readily apparent “defect” that is evident to all the world. That’s bad enough, right?

But there are those hidden defects that only we know about. Those are the ones that are really holding us back. Because we are afraid that at any moment we will be discovered as frauds.

Let me level with you. I have tried over 200 jury trials and have achieved remarkable results. But every victory I have I mark up to pure luck. I would love to be able to say, “Hey, look what I did.” But I can’t bring myself to do it.

I am not trying to be humble here. I am letting you see behind the curtain to my insecurities. I am doing it because I want you to understand that these things are normal. I want you to understand that you can overcome them. But it takes effort on your part, as it does on mine.

You see, I know my weaknesses and insecurities. I have struggled all my life with being a self-doubter. Oh, you would not see that in my public persona. No, it is that gremlin that haunts me in my private time.

At the same time, I look around and see my objective successes and wonder. How can I have achieved this if not being good at what I do? Dumb luck is not the answer.

Maybe you are confronted with this same thing. Let me suggest to you that you start to assess yourself objectively. You have come this far being just who you are. Those insecurities you have are unfounded. Quit believing your gremlin and start believing in yourself.

Others don’t see those hidden flaws because they are imagined. You have created them as roadblocks to your success. Step up and reach out. Realize that you are a unique individual. You hold the keys to your success. Instead of focusing on your hidden and imagined defects, focus on your hidden and very real talents.

 

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