Divorce! The Dirty Secret

How many people do you know who are divorced? Probably quite a few. 40-50% of all marriages in the United Sates end in divorce. So why do we act like it is something to be ashamed of? Why do people treat divorced people like they are damaged?

I am divorced. I understand the pain, stigma and embarrassment that you are going through. Thankfully, though, I finally learned how to let it go. When I did, it was no longer a stigma. It was just a fact.

Divorce is Just an Event

Many people let themselves become defined by the fact they are divorced. They grow up being told that divorce is a bad thing. Don’t get me wrong, I do not believe divorce is a good thing. It is a “thing.” It is an event that takes place in the lives of some people. I do not know one person who got divorced who did not have some emotional trauma over it.

The question is, though, “why should you suffer from it for the rest of your life?” For some people a divorce is not only a good thing, it is a life saver. Imagine the person caught up in an abusive relationship. Is that person condemned to live in those circumstances? I hope your answer is “no.”

Divorce Discrimination

But it seems that people want to look down on people who are divorced. It wasn’t that long ago that people were discriminated against because they were divorced. Certain companies would not hire them for responsible positions. Keep this in mind, not every person who is divorced wanted it to happen. How can society judge those people harshly? In many cases society does not give any weight to the circumstances surrounding the divorce.

If you are one of the people who is suffering from the stigma of divorce I want to encourage you to leave that behind you. When I got divorced I saw it as the end of all of my dreams. I let that divorce influence decisions I made for years. My life, in some ways, careened out of control because I felt unworthy and damaged. It took me a long time, but I got over it. You can, too.

As a professional speaker I speak to groups and organizations about overcoming the past. Our lives are filled with second chances, if we will only take them In order to take them we have to feel worthy of them. Do not let your divorce define you. It was only an event in your life. Hold your head up. Be the person you know you can be.

If you feel the need to reach out to me, send me an email or comment on this post.