Who Do You Love?

Greg Skandalinsky and I first met in high school. We stayed friends through all these years although we hardly even see or speak. But he will surface from time-to-time with another important subject he needs to spout off about. For some reason Greg thinks he needs to tell me about these revelations.

Today he was going on and on about relationships. He came upon a realization that many of his relationships failed because they were based on a false premise.  I should point out here that Greg may be the only person I know with worse track record for relationships than mine.

Greg said he had been doing a lot of thinking. Most, if not all, of his ex’s were good looking, if not actually beautiful, women. That is what attracted him to them in the first place. He was never much interested in their education, station in life, age (well he liked them younger) or what they thought. In fact he told me he didn’t even give any thought as to whether or not they even had thoughts.

One of his ex’s thought Chicago was a State.

What he liked about them was the way they made him feel about himself. His main concern was how him being with this woman or that made him look in the eyes of his friends or associates. Were they impressed with the fact that he could get a woman like that?

He went on to say that even though at the time he thought he loved these women, what he really loved was how they made him feel about himself. He did say, graciously, that he did believe some of them truly did love him. But he never took that into account. Now realizes that he never really loved them as people.

It made me think. Maybe I have done the same thing a time or two. It wasn’t until I met, learned about, and appreciated my lovely wife as the person she is that I really knew what love is.

I came away from this Greg encounter seeing things with a new perspective.