Why Do We Do It?
So many people worry about what others might think of them. It is a common emotion. It is a prevalent thought in many of the people I coach when we first start out.
It is only natural to be concerned about what others might think. What is interesting is that the emotion does not necessarily change one’s behavior, except in certain circumstances. Most of the time people are going to behave they way they think is correct for them. It is human nature to believe that our way is the right way.
Don’t Try to Please Others
The problem is that too many people are living their lives trying to please others. They wring their hands over what others might think. The first thing to know is that most of the time other people aren’t even thinking about you.
I spent many years of my young adult days worried about what people thought of me. Strangely enough, it did not change my behavior. I did what I thought was right at the moment, or what I wanted to do.
At the same time, I spent a great deal of time wondering what people thought. Did they approve? Was I thought of as a good person or a fool?
What Are People Saying?
I was worried about what people might say about me.
Those of you that know me are aware that I have had a horrible marital record. I wasn’t trying to have failed marriages. It bothered me that I had been divorced and re-married and, well, it goes on from there.
Truth be told I probably remarried at least once because I wanted to fit in to what I thought people would approve.
How dumb is that?
I can’t point to the day or time when I finally figured it out.
I am never going to do everything right. I am never going to please everybody by who I am. But I am who I am and that should be enough. Like me or don’t like me. I am living my life as best I can.
My Code Of Ethics
Now my daily goal is to enjoy each day as best I can. I guide myself by what I consider to be a self-imposed code of ethics. I do what I believe is right for me and my family.
Most of all I do not let what other people think of my behavior ever enter my thought process. It doesn’t matter what they think.
You Do Not Need Validation
I encourage you to give some serious thought to the fact that you do not need the validation of others so long as you believe in yourself. What other people think does not matter.
If you worry about what others think you are going to start living the life they want you to have rather than the life you want to have. You are only given one shot at this. It is your responsibility to live the best life you can. Happiness is a fundamental feeling and you cannot be happy if you are worried about the opinions of others.
You might not do everything correctly. You will never be able to make everybody approve of you, so why try? Those who love and admire you will be with you through it all. As far as the others, let them have their opinions if that is what makes them happy.
You can’t control what other people think of you. You can only control how you let it affect you.